How I forgetted the englees!

This is the direct result of having extremely vernac profs who can’t talk english and still make wannabe attempts towards it, thus making our lives miserable. It would just be better if they spoke kannada, I mean, most of us understand Kannada and for those who don’t… It’s high time they learn!

We’ve a host of dialogues that our profs have used, got us extremely confused with and sent us into peels of laughter!

We’d a teacher who said “Are you visible?” What she meant of course was “Is it visible to you?” (NO I’m invisible, I’m being awarded the Nobel for this great invention! )

“Outernal” for “external” “Jaaa- for  Jaw” etc!

Articles are just out of the question, I believe all the people in the world have forgotten/ never learnt the difference between A, An and The…
Bring me a an textbook.
Where is the your book?
Why are you writing in the pencil?
(I SWEAR I’m NOT exaggerating)

The other common ones are, differences between as and has. And they use the wrong one more often than not!

Has you can see…
This part as to go there!

And  other “alien” mistakes like, “you has to putten it” and “you has to putted it!”

Past tenses and plurals have taken an entirely new meaning in the dictionary…

You see-ed the project?
Where is you going?
It affect the machines if you don’t use oil.

Sometimes teachers want to use specifically complicated words and end up using the wrong words instead…
Somebody wanted to say “Please use technical words in the paper” and ended up saying “technical words should not be nullified in the paper!!!” You’ve no idea how much we laughed!!!

There are also “These respects (for aspects) should be kept in the mind!”
Why are you going into the inner ( for finer) details?

But this one has to take the cake!!! A teacher once said instead of “Can you make out what I’m showing?”
“Can you see me making out?”
That was ultimate! Damn, how minor mistakes  like this can give such a dreadfully different meaning!

Really, if somebody wants to teach, they need to correct such tiny mistakes rather than get themselves embarrassed. I mean, how can they not figure. They have to do something about it, if they’re in the profession right? They don’t need to be literary geniuses but at least basic communication skills is necessary, isn’t it?!

I honestly after going throught this feel I’m forgetting english. My thought flow and usage of words and even sentence formation has become weaker. It’s not that I was ever great, it’s just going from bad to worse and I don’t like it.